i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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