I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I want to be your penis for a week.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
