Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
