I'm lost and stupid without you.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
