Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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