my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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