i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize