I'm passing your future prison.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize