he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
