im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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