I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
