Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
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