and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
