all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
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