She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize