We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Farmville is her only friend.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
this just has baby written all over it
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
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