Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I am full of burrito and curiosity
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize