im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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