I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
