I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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