Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Randomize
