haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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