just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
