I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
