official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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