Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I can feel your judgement through the phone
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
