it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
