i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
