I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
