Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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