walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
