Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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