We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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