is your mom at the bar?
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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