I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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