Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
