found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Randomize
