You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
