So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize