I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize