I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
