So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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