I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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