I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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