Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
