is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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