I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize