After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Actions speak louder than pants.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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