chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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