You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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