we have officially lost it.
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
