Don't make out with my wife yet
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
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