It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
