Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
