she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
