i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
