Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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