Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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