did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
