I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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