Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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