She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize