Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
