Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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