I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Randomize
