We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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